A Weekend Away page 3

Continuing to improve on a previous comic strip

Old on the left, New on the right

On the New page:
Panel 1 the villain looks less intimidating and the angle creates a sense of movement like he's swanning over to the heroine. There's also more space for his dialogue.

Panel 2 is much the same as before but zooming in creates I think more intimacy and again the space allows for more dialogue

With Panel 3 I started to make more considered changes. I felt it was important to see the faces of both characters as they converse and I swapped them around as she speaks first in the script. The background I ditched  but added some odd outlines of other diners, this I felt de-clutters the scene but still keeps a sense of where they are.

Another major change is Panel 4, which was originally 2 panels. Merging them into a single panel brings more emphasis to the drama. As a single separate panel the action seems displaced but in the merged version, action is taking place behind the unsuspecting villain, creating a sense of conflict as each vies for the heroine's attention.

The 5th panel is similar to before but the heroine faces into the page instead of out. Having her look in connects her to the previous panel. Also keeping the face closely framed emphasises the dilemma she is presented with.

The last Panel is much the same though again less cluttered.

A Weekend Away page 2

Continuing to improve on a previous comic strip.

 

As with before the new version is on the right.

Panel 1 I moved the figures close in and kept them out of the shadows, I always thought they looked a bit sinister casting a long shadow in the first version.

Panel 2 is very similar to previous but with the main light source coming from the doorway, just to make it seem more like evening time

The main scene is less cluttered with the improved perspective and everything just seems cleaner.

Panel 4 I zoomed in on the people, usually  I would leave room for dialogue but as there wasn't any for this panel I decided that this would be a better composition. I liked the idea of the lady being centred, makes her seem... important.

Panel 5 I zoomed out so the character doesn't become too squashed in. I kept the expression neutral. A face slurping soup probably isn't very flattering.

Overall It's still very similar just more consideration here and there.

I've recently started looking at old work and thought I'd re-draw them again with a focus on some of the weaknesses of the previous illustrations, as well as also trying to keep the brushwork consistent with my more recent work.

The comic strip I chose for this was originally drawn in around 2002/03 ish ..( I can't remember exactly when) for Underfire comics based in Brighton.

It's a six page story called "A Weekend Away" scripted by Amsel Von Spreckelsen

I thought I'd show each page with old next to new to look at the comparison and note some of the changes.

The old one's on the left, drawn with fine liners and the new one's on the right inked with brush.

 

 

There's probably not much to say on these two apart from more consideration to the details of the environment and use of perspective. As a scene setter and following Amsel's script, there's not much I would change regarding composition.

My next entry will look at page 2

2000 Ad submission

A while back, prior to the work for Tom Muzzell I submitted a sample to 2000 AD from their Tales of Teleguuth script.
I got some feed back which I think was positive with only two points of criticism:
1. some panels were a bit too busy and, as a result, the foreground blended into the background  a bit.
 2. Some of the figures seemed a bit stiff.

It's motivated me to try another submission which I've started and am currently inking but had to put on hold due to being a bit swamped with work.
To get round the figures appearing stiff I've since changed to using a brush instead of a fine liner. In fact this is the last work I inked exclusively with a fine liner pen. The werewolf and Copier strips were inked by brush.
Attached is pages 1 to 4 from my submission.

I've been pretty lax with this so far.

But... seeing as it's start of a new year I thought i'd give this blogging thing another go. Nearing the end of last year I enrolled at a comic book illustration course run by Charles Cutting

 It was really good I feel extremely motivated to pursue this further. A group of us are chipping together to publish our magazine It looks like there'll be a variety of stories in it.