Continued from the Korky Paul Illustration course.

I've finished my first Double page spread

 

 

I had some doubts regarding it so held off painting the second one.

 

Though I'm fairly happy with it. The general consensus on the course is that the technique or method doesn't suit it as it's a bit old fashioned. To compare it with the rough below.

 



 

The coloured one looks a bit muted whereas the rough has potentially a starker contrast.

I think I have this mentality of trying to hide the ink lines when I paint in colour or at least trying to blend them into the painting. For this project It doesn't work.

The other criticism is that the narrator (sloth) is not engaging with the reader and when I think about. It is how I intended it to be but it doesn't work. It's presence is very subtle and doesn't stand out enough.

I've recently enrolled on Korky Paul's children's book illustration course.

He's really good and breaks things down very well. It's been really good and informative and if I follow everything to the letter I should at least have some work presentable to publishers (fingers cross). I feel he's given me good advice towards playing to my strengths.
Although every thing's still a work in progress here's my final roughs for the first 2 DPS, to be finished sometime soon.

The text is from a rhyming story by John Bush who also wrote "The fish who could wish"
Subject wise it's very different from what I'm used to, but it's good fun.

Akuto - Lawless
I'm currently getting some pages together of my own comic strip. This will be an extract from a comic book I did a good while back called Akuto. I had produced 4 issues though they were very rushed and very rough looking.  I've picked 6 pages which I thought stood alone quite well and will get these finished at some point soon

 

A Weekend away. A comparison of old and new

 

To wrap this up is the final three pages. Pages 4 to 6

 

Page 4

 

This page is pretty much unchanged. Extra care was taken to prevent the background and foreground getting mixed up.

 

 

Page 5



Some small but I feel significant changes here. Panel 1, I took out the heroine that way we, the reader is placed in her shoes and the boy is talking to us. This way the reader isn't trying to look past her shoulder and head to see the action.

 

Panel 2&3 are the same except for the heroine is now looking where she's running.

Panels 4,5 & 6 I altered the panel sizes, this way things don't feel as cramped.

Also I purposely left no room for dialogue as there is none for these 3 panels.

I wanted the final panels, 7&8 to be more connected with the characters talking before a small action that requires neither character to move from the spot.

 

Page6

 



Final one, again some small changes I felt it would be better to include the two heroes in panel 2.

Though I usually don't like seeing the back of character's heads I thought it was appropriate in this case. The boy stands rooted looking in awe at the fire works and I thought this would be best left to the reader's imagination. This contrasts with the heroine who's already past caring and has turned away to smugly blow the smoke from a flare gun.

 

The villain is given more room for his monologue and also is seen departing but there is a sense that he's close enough to the explosion that it illuminates him.

 

The final panel is again very similar but shows the heroes returning to the Trusted Lion rather than  waiting and chatting.

 

 

 

 

 



 

A Weekend Away page 3

Continuing to improve on a previous comic strip

Old on the left, New on the right

On the New page:
Panel 1 the villain looks less intimidating and the angle creates a sense of movement like he's swanning over to the heroine. There's also more space for his dialogue.

Panel 2 is much the same as before but zooming in creates I think more intimacy and again the space allows for more dialogue

With Panel 3 I started to make more considered changes. I felt it was important to see the faces of both characters as they converse and I swapped them around as she speaks first in the script. The background I ditched  but added some odd outlines of other diners, this I felt de-clutters the scene but still keeps a sense of where they are.

Another major change is Panel 4, which was originally 2 panels. Merging them into a single panel brings more emphasis to the drama. As a single separate panel the action seems displaced but in the merged version, action is taking place behind the unsuspecting villain, creating a sense of conflict as each vies for the heroine's attention.

The 5th panel is similar to before but the heroine faces into the page instead of out. Having her look in connects her to the previous panel. Also keeping the face closely framed emphasises the dilemma she is presented with.

The last Panel is much the same though again less cluttered.

A Weekend Away page 2

Continuing to improve on a previous comic strip.

 

As with before the new version is on the right.

Panel 1 I moved the figures close in and kept them out of the shadows, I always thought they looked a bit sinister casting a long shadow in the first version.

Panel 2 is very similar to previous but with the main light source coming from the doorway, just to make it seem more like evening time

The main scene is less cluttered with the improved perspective and everything just seems cleaner.

Panel 4 I zoomed in on the people, usually  I would leave room for dialogue but as there wasn't any for this panel I decided that this would be a better composition. I liked the idea of the lady being centred, makes her seem... important.

Panel 5 I zoomed out so the character doesn't become too squashed in. I kept the expression neutral. A face slurping soup probably isn't very flattering.

Overall It's still very similar just more consideration here and there.

I've recently started looking at old work and thought I'd re-draw them again with a focus on some of the weaknesses of the previous illustrations, as well as also trying to keep the brushwork consistent with my more recent work.

The comic strip I chose for this was originally drawn in around 2002/03 ish ..( I can't remember exactly when) for Underfire comics based in Brighton.

It's a six page story called "A Weekend Away" scripted by Amsel Von Spreckelsen

I thought I'd show each page with old next to new to look at the comparison and note some of the changes.

The old one's on the left, drawn with fine liners and the new one's on the right inked with brush.

 

 

There's probably not much to say on these two apart from more consideration to the details of the environment and use of perspective. As a scene setter and following Amsel's script, there's not much I would change regarding composition.

My next entry will look at page 2